Merry Christmas Jackie O.

It all started when I couldn’t find an eyeglass case big enough for my big, black Carolina Herrera sunglasses. They are my signature accessory. I wore big, black sunglasses before Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis made them famous! Since I’ve knitted cozies for everything else in the house, I decided to try one big enough for the glasses. This is the result, and I am so happy with it, I’m making more of them for Christmas gifts. After all, as DD pointed out recently, “Gee Mom, big sunglasses are popular right now. You are finally in style.”

I wore my first pair of big, black sunglasses when I was a teenager. They weren’t in style then either. For years some of my closest friends called me “Bug Eyes.” Imagine what my non-friends said about me. Then it happened…the worst thing that I could possibly conceive of…my Jackie O. sunglasses were gone. I laid them on a counter beside me as I wrote a check in a store, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a man’s hand pick them up. When I turned around there was no one standing there but my husband, who swore that he did not take the glasses, and didn’t see who did. Sounds suspicious to me even now, as it did then. But then the sales clerk said she saw a man pick them up and she didn’t say anything because she thought his wife had left them behind and sent him back for them. See what trouble you get into when you take a man shopping—that’s a whole post in itself!

Anyway, suddenly I couldn’t find anymore Jackie O. sunglasses. They were not available. None to be had. This picture represents many years of sunglasses gone wrong, in an effort to find a pair that would make up for my dreadful loss. None of them worked, and now that I’ve finally found a new pair of Jackie O. sunglasses, I want to protect them at all costs. I did get a case with the glasses, but it is so bulky that I can’t find a place in my bag for it. I plan to attach a clip to the knitted case so I can attach the glasses to my body, and dare anyone to take them. Take my car—take my purse—take my shopping bag, but if you try to take my Jackie O. sunglasses the resulting brawl will not be pretty.